Roxy China, Australia's Hottest Nobody, wraps up the month in
the world of somebody's, and gives her take on all the latest celebrity + entertainment
news, reviews and gossip gossip gossip!
KANYE APOLOGISES
Kanye
West has personally apologised to Taylor Swift after his outburst at the VMA's.
Despite rumours it was planned by the pair's mutual agent, it seems Kanye is genuinely
sorry and friends are now urging him to enter rehab for his drinking problem.
Personally, I think the whole thing was ridiculous. Kanye should have lost enough
awards by now to know it's all a game. Of course Taylor was gonna win something
- they always throw a bone to the up and comer; and Beyonce was a shoe in for
video of the year by the mere amount of people who re-enacted it on youtube. The
only person who was truly robbed was Pink! whose video was more deserving than
anyone's! But don't worry, she didn't walk away entirely empty handed. Her man
Carey Hart made her a moon man out of tin foil for "best use of an ex in
a music video"
PEREZ HILTON SNUBBED
Finally!
I'm not the only person who realizes what a douche Perez Hilton IS! Apparently
the sharp tongued gossip columnist was completely snubbed at the recent VMA's.
Most of his so called "celeb-friends" didn't even talk to him, and a
few were even seen giving him the finger. Although it's no surprise when you look
at what he was wearing! He looked like a reject from the Wiggles auditions. The
only person who would even be seen with him was Lady GaGa… And that says
it all!
LOVE IN THE AIR @ THE EMMYS
Was
it just me? Or were the Emmy's a very loved-up affair this year? Jennifer Love
Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy have come out of the couple closet and were happily showing
off their new love; a very pregnant Hedi Klum was stealing kisses from husband
Seal at every opportunity; and even Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Jerry Ferrara, aka Turtle
from Entourage, have fessed up to their on screen romance transitioning to real
life. Of course, the cute couples on the red carpet were nothing compared to the
after party hook ups. With rumoured matches including Chloe Sevigny and Jason
Segel; and Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane apparently leaving with five girls
on his arm.. I guess it's true; everyone loves a funny guy.
MILEY
DESPERATE TO GROW UP
Miley Cyrus is so desperate to shake
her squeaky clean image, that she's pursuing a friendship with notorious party
girl Lindsay Lohan. Recently criticised for dancing around a pole on stage, Miley
is feeling the pressure of growing up in the spotlight. Fans (or their uptight
parents at least) were reportedly outraged at her music video for 'Party In The
USA' which shows Miley in a fitted tank top that accentuates her developing curves.
Criticism that Lindsay is all too familiar with, having blossomed in the film
'Mean Girls', LiLo spent much of her adolescence defending accusations of having
boob jobs. With so much in common, it's no wonder these two have been tweeting
each other. Miley is clearly looking for someone who understands the difficulty
transitioning from Disney darling to woman. Although if Miley is searching for
a role model, I hope she can see that LiLo is not the best choice.
SPEAKING
OF LINDSAY LOHAN…
Lindsay is currently under attack
for being a "bad influence" on her younger sister Ali who despite being
only 15, has been spotted out clubbing with Lindsay and drinking alcohol. At a
recent fashion show LiLo was diva-ing it up and throwing other celebs place cards
on the floor so that she could sit next to her latest crush… So desperate
for love, Lindsay reportedly threw herself at Jason Segal recently and dragged
him home for a one night stand… all with lil sister Ali in tow. In truth,
for all we know, the men she's bringing home are just coming over to play board
games… and perhaps Ali's drinks are Mocktails. But with all this criticism
of Lindsay, I cant help but wonder why no one seems to be asking, "Where
are the parents?"
LET THEM EAT CAKE
America
is one of the fattest countries in the world. This is the land of the supersize
meal. These are the people who figured out how to deep fry Coca Cola for crying
out loud! And yet, when their celebs gain a few pounds, everyone is up in arms!
Kirstie Alley has once again come under fire over her weight, and as a result
has signed herself away to "Fat Camp" where she has been twittering
daily complaints about the "rabbit food". The woman is nearly 60 years
old for f**k's sake! If she wants to eat, LET HER EAT!!! She's been and done it
all, she can live off syndication, why should she be expected to stay looking
taught and trim! Women everywhere work hard on their appearance to get ahead in
life; but when does it end?
How old and how successful do we have to be before
we're allowed to sit back, get fat and start knitting! Stop criticising Kirstie
and let the woman get as fat as she likes! You wouldn't tell your Nanna to go
on a diet would you?
SPEAKING OF FATTY-BOOMBAS
Kevin
Federline (AKA K-Fed) has apparently been piling on the pounds in the lead up
to his appearance on Celebrity Fit Club. He seemingly believes the fatter he is
at the start; the more inspiring it'll be to see him get fit on the show. He is
trying to gain a new audience and hopefully score himself some lucrative deals
in the process. The show hasn't even started yet and he's already talking about
having his own fitness show afterwards. Let's see if he still feels that way when
he's on his 19th hill climb carrying all those extra burgers in his belly…
BRIDGET
JONES COULD KILL ME
On the other side of the spectrum,
naturally slim Rene Zellweger is becoming more and more concerned for her health,
and is desperately begging producers to let her wear a fat suit for the third
Bridget Jones film, but the studios wont budge. They say not only does she have
to gain the 15kg she piled on for the 2nd movie, but as the story involves Bridget
being pregnant, she may have to gain even more weight! Rene is scared of the damage
to her health, and anyone who saw how sickly she looked during the press tour
for the last film should understand. It looks like she may end up sacrificing
the role of a lifetime…or else risk shortening her own lifetime.
POOR
JESS
Jessica Simpson has called off the search for her
beloved pet pooch Daisy. Last week a Coyote snatched the puppy (a gift from ex
husband Nick Lachay) right before her eyes. Jess took to twitter for help. "My
heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our
eyes," tweeted Simpson. "HORROR! We are searching, Hoping. Please help!"
She also put up posters, enlisted professionals 'Find Toto' and even had sniffer
dogs tracking poor Daisy. But alas, to no avail. The search has been officially
called off and Jess is reeling from the loss. Daisy had already outlasted her
marriage, and subsequent relationships, and was always by her side. Brother-in-law
Pete Wentz (of Fall Out Boy) sent his love to the distraught singer on Twitter,
writing, "Keep your head up. We're thinking of you." Well we're thinking
of you too Jess xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox. Poor Daisy.
LETTERMAN
SEX SCANDAL
Ok…. Ew! Headlines are ranging from "Dave's
Harem" to "Laid night with David Letterman". Talk show host David
Letterman has admitted on his show that he had sexual relationships with female
employees. A television producer is out of jail on bond after pleading not guilty
to trying to blackmail him for $2 million. The extortionist threatened to reveal
the relationships to the press. So.. okay. First thought.. ew! Who would want
to sleep with David Letterman. Second thought…slut! Isn't he married? But
apparently all the relationships pre-dated his marriage to Regina Lasko, and Dave's
family life is not at risk of being shaken by the revelations of a few past flings.
However, being the gentleman that he is, he has been quoted as saying that "perhaps"
it would be embarrassing, but more importantly he says "I feel I need to
protect these people." As a celeb groupie myself, I can kinda understand
these girls (cause hey; he's famous.. and sleeping with someone famous is always
hot -even if they're fugly) but if I were an intern who had a brief affair with
the boss, would I want my name splashed all over the paper? No thank you. Consenting
adults are consenting adults. End of story.
©
Roxy China
