LATEST NEWS…SHARON VS DANNII ROUND TWO: Outspoken former X-Factor judge Sharon Osbourne has launched another scathing attack on her X-Factor co-star, the untalented Minogue sister (no need to elaborate). Mrs Osbourne previously said Dannii was only chosen as a judge because the show's creator Simon Cowell wanted to sleep with her. This time Sharon called Danni "f*cking useless." "She wasn't so much a dim bulb as a bulb in a power cut," Shaz added." You have to hand it to Sharon - she calls a spade a spade….NAOMI STRIKES AGAIN: Our favourite supermodel with anger management issues, Naomi Campbell, allegedly punched out a taxi driver in New York late last month. The driver claims the out-of-control model flew into a rage and began hitting him from the back seat leaving him with a black eye. He alleged that Naomi jumped from the vehicle and ran from the scene after he stopped the car to contact police. Taxi drivers all over New York now have a fear much greater than late-night knife muggings - God help them…WINO BACK WITH EX: Amy Winehouse has reunited with her druggie ex Blake Fielder-Civil. The pair were spotted pashing outside a London restaurant. The couple decided to reconcile their train-wreck relationship after Blake left her for another woman last year. Despite Blake making K-Fed look like the catch of the century, Wino probably hasn't been sober since she met him anyway. Well someone needs to fill Whitney and Bobby's shoes….TIGER'S GOT BALLS: Golf balls that is. Tiger Woods has resumed training and sources close to the family say the disgraced golfer will return to golf at the Tavistock Cup tournament on March 22. Meanwhile there has been no sign of the player's wronged wife Elin, although reports say she visited the man-whore - err sorry, her husband - in sex rehab. He probably should return to work since buying his wife's silence obviously comes at a very high price…LIFE IMITATES ART FOR TV STAR: 'Two and a Half Men' star John Cryer, who plays Charlie's super annoying brother Allen, isn't just hated by his onscreen ex wife. The whiny actor allegedly had a hit taken out on him by his actual ex wife (the aptly named) Sarah Trigger. A US court alleged that Trigger wanted to have the actor bumped off because he no longer agreed pay his $10 000-a-month child support for their two kids. Meanwhile his onscreen brother Charlie Sheen is in rehab after threatening his wife with a pocket knife. On the plus-side, there's enough drama in their lives to inspire a whole new series of 'Men'…UNDERBELLY - ANOTHER CONTROVERSY: It just wouldn't be Underbelly without controversy. The new series 'Underbelly: The Golden Years' about the Kings Cross underworld is again embroiled in controversy as a former Kings Cross police officer depicted in the show sues for defamation. The former officer, Wendy Gaye Hatfield, has demanded that the Supreme Court allow her to preview episodes before they go to air to ensure she has not been defamed. Hatfield believes that the plot suggests she had a sexual relationship with a notorious Kings Cross nightclub owner and was promoted in the NSW police force by providing sexual favours. While it all sounds juicy, Hatfield will try to stop parts of the show that paint her in a bad light from going to air. She probably doesn't realise she can cash in on the controversy just like Roberta Williams….MR HEIDI MONTAG IN HOSPITAL: Mrs plastic fantastic Heidi Montag's less famous other half, Spencer Pratt, was recently hospitalised needing stitches in his tongue. The injury to his tongue occurred in a bizarre incident where he implicated his new pet dog after he bit his own tongue leaving him unable to talk for several days. Unable to accept responsibility for being a clumsy fool, he blamed his poor (more intelligent) Pomeranian for his stupidity. Given the mindless rubbish that comes out of The Hills star's mouth, here's hoping he bites his tongue more often….JOHN HELPS JESS GET GUYS: John Mayer's recent comments about Jessica Simpson's talents as a lover are helping the blonde singer pull men. In an Oprah interview early this month, Jess said her phone had been ringing off the hook since John described her as "sexual napalm" to US Playboy. Meanwhile, no females will touch John Mayer with a ten foot pole after he described his junk as a 'white supremacist' and basically bagged all of his former girlfriends in the highest selling men's magazine in the world. Perhaps John also needs to have a freak accident involving Spencer Pratt's dog?...CHERYL COLE DUMPS HUSBAND: Another day, another sports star cheats on his wife. This time it's British soccer player Ashley Cole who has cheated on UK glamour girl and former Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Cole. The 26-year-old glamour found Shane Warne-style text messages on her husband's phone and after countless other infidelities on his part, finally decided to leave his ass. Cheryl is busy promoting her solo album '3 Words' which has been given rave reviews, so she probably isn't wasting much time crying over it. For the last time girls, do not date rockers, sports men or actors - unless you are totally against monogamy….
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COUPLES RETREAT: REVIEW

This is a movie in which the cast look like they're having so much fun in the sun that the script was completely forgotten about. However, as a date movie, this is a winner with the tropical island location of Bora Bora being a standout.

The basic premise involves four couples being whisked off to a beachside resort to help save the marriage of one pair (Jason Bateman & Kristen Bell). The resort is looked after by a spiritual minded Frenchman (Jean Reno) who has selected a series of non negotiable therapy sessions with all four couples. Vince Vaughn is a loose actor who loves to talk, in 'Couples Retreat' he loves to complain. In a rather amateur but amusing moment when he is being attacked by a shark, he's still complaining. The adults in question don't always behave like adults. Suggestive yoga sessions to massages leading to extra excitement are part of the many questionable comedy routines.

During the movie, there are countless reminders of how relationships are so important, extended afterthoughts of love get a mention. These couples are still together, but not exactly happy. Whether it is sipping champagne in the spa or drinking out of coconut shells, while trying to repair their respective partnerships, there are plenty of cocktails consumed to help lighten the mood.

First time director Peter Billingsworth, has worked as a writer on many of Vince Vaughn's former films including last year's 'Four Christmas's'. His debut must have been an easy one with his cast seemingly under no restraint of their own shenanigans. The upbeat jokes are crowd pleasing. The ones that fall flat are largely due to the repetitive nature of what's going on.

The girls are all slim, attractive and fit in well with their photogenic surrounds. Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) & Jason Bateman actually are the only couple who make a good pair though, the rest are seem mismatched to the pint of exhaustion.

The bickering is funny for the most part but scene after scene of this gets annoyingly dull. Dr. Phil has more interesting therapy sessions than a few in this film. The worst moment comes in the form of a lame Guitar Hero showdown. This is a computer game that should never ever feature in a motion picture again.

Overall however, 'Couples Retreat' does have its moments. The upbeat soundtrack also fills the ears with joy. Jason Bateman is a long way from 'Teen Wolf' too - his charm makes the movie actually. Jon Favreau, now an esteemed director himself, is a jolly addition to Vaughn's banter of discontent with every situation he is placed in.

Shane A. Bassett

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