Falling far short of any expectations...
I have this friend named Tiffany. When I was doing party
reporting, she was always my plus one. This girl is the life of the
party. She is fashionable, ultra hip and H.O.T. Yet she can't get a
decent date. Like most Sydney women out there, she is struggling to
find a guy with good looks, great humour, intellect and of course a
guy who is the perfect gentleman.
What is it about Sydney men that can make them such bogans?
No offence but the things I have seen and heard are way below par. First
there was this guy that she met at one of the parties I was covering.
We will call guy number one Horny Schoolboy. This guy seemed great in
the beginning. He had charm, wit and was ready for the cat and mouse
chase of dating; Tiffany was impressed. They went on a few dates and
things progressed so they had a bit of a snog.
Then he said, "I'm addicted to your kisses."
Men, corny lines like this do not work. I repeat, DO NOT WORK. It's
a turn off, not a turn on. Tiffany decided to give him the benefit of
the doubt and they became quite good mates. The sexual chemistry between
them was at boiling point and they slept together. This is where the
name horny schoolboy comes in. He was rough, disrespectful and to use
the term 'like a rabbit' is an understatement. When asked to stop, he
didn't. When it was time to finish off, lets just say he milked his
cow without telling her and rubbed it all in. Always say when it's time
boys - it is so, so rude. There is an unspoken etiquette about this
touchy subject and you should respect the person you are with and give
them some preparation time. Suffice to say, Tiffany is now ignoring
this guy and will be the rest of her life.
Then there was the guy who she met at a club one night
who was with a girl who he called his sister but was really another
girl he was interested in. He just wanted to lay both of them that night.
Oh there's more. There was the guy who Tiffany also met in a club she
was interested in. They kissed, and then she found out he had a girlfriend.
There was the guy who was so desperate to get her number he sneaked
into the back room of her work to look through the address book to get
it.
Then came the dream guy. You know, the guy with the great
body and successful career who played football part time. He just didn't
have enough time to date. Then there was the perfect guy who she met
at a concert. They went on a date but he talked about himself the whole
time and turned out to be an arrogant prick. Do you see what I'm getting
at? This has made Tiffany fussy and much more reserved when meeting
men. Whenever she meets a new guy, all she thinks is that he wants to
get in her pants so she builds a barrier. She expects a bit of a chase,
and it doesn't happen. I don't blame her for being a touch cynical about
dating!
Why do men have such an inability to be gentlemanly when
it comes to courting a young woman? Is this what our generation has
become? What happened to the days when if a guy was interested, he would
be the ultimate gentleman and send a girl some flowers or chase her
until she said yes to a date and then treated her like a princess? Or
is that just in the movies? Speaking to a few male friends of mine,
things seemed clearer. Apparently it's not about relationships. It's
about hooking up. As Generation Y-ers, the need for a successful career
and a whole lot of money has shifted our focus from meeting the 'one'
to being number one in our chosen field. Guys don't have enough time
for jealous and clingy girlfriends and the entire emotional backlash
that comes with being in a relationship. It seems to me that we have
an epidemic on our hands. An epidemic of epic proportions! It is not
only Tiffany that I have heard this from, but a number of female friends
that have complained about man's lacklustre attitude to relationships.
Yet on the flip side, I haven't heard any male complain about this same
situation. Does it happen men?
From my own experience, maybe we have all become just
a touch cynical about love and instead of settling down, we just settle
for what we can get that night. I know for myself that when I am 80,
I don't want to look back and wonder why I never let the right person
into my life. I want to be proud that I took risks while staying true
to myself and I don't want to wonder what my life could have been if
I had just taken the plunge into a real relationship instead of plunging
into every other persons bed.
Life is short. Be friendly and don't be a pig, boys. Treat
your lady with a little respect and you might find yourself not only
lucky for one night, but for the rest of your life. Love is possible.
Believe me.
Matt Young
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