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Looking at some reports recently, there are some 20,000 more single women in Sydney than men. Unfortunately, the reports didn't go on to say how old these women are, how "single" they actually are, whether they already have children or what postcode they're living in. And quite frankly, those are details a guy could use! But no, we're teased with a statistic that says we're outnumbered, but you go guess where they're hiding. Myself, I prefer to meet a girl by way of introduction. It's always helpful if a friend, or even a remote acquaintance, introduces you to someone new. It makes continuing a conversation so much easier. I hate "cold calling", which is what I term the act of just fronting up to a table of girls and trying to talk to them. It's highly uncomfortable, extremely embarrassing, and as far as I'm concerned, it's rude. And, I'm having great difficulty in getting over the 'rude' part of it. I could deal with the pain and embarrassment, but I dislike rudeness. In the 80's, men were told they had to be bold. If you wanted that girl, go get her! I imagine quite a few guys got drinks thrown in their faces, their faces slapped or simply kneed in the nuts. Women didn't want that. In the 90's, men were told they needed to be more sensitive, needing to listen and be more in touch with their feelings. Now that men are taking a bit better care of themselves, actually getting their hair cut and trimming their fingernails, trying to listen and understand a woman's position, we find that they don't want that either. They want a guy who'll take charge, make the decisions, won't pay them any attention, ignore their opinions and treat them as sex toys. They want the "bloke" back. Make up your minds, for crying out loud! I'm convinced that this confusion has always been there, but that the media is beating it up into more of a frenzy these days. It doesn't seem possible that this level of chaos could exist and the world not go stark raving mad. As strange as it sounds, the old saying of "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" is still the way. Women are even admitting it these days. They ask 'Where are all the nice guys?' but still date one loser after another who treats them like dirt. Now, I'm not some wishy-washy under the thumb sort of guy. I have my opinions and I stick to them (ask me about why I think more women should wear high heels, or how much I hate thongs and sandals sometime) but I'm also not a complete tosser who can just treat someone like crap, talking to 30 women in a night hoping one might want to go home with me. Ok, that seems to work for some guys, but it's just not me. And it seems it's not the way a lot of guys are. So, a little help please ladies… Where are all these single women - where are they hiding? How do we reconcile the differences between what women say they want and what they actually go after in a man? Do women find it rude of a man to approach them genuinely wanting to start a conversation? How should a guy approach you, letting you know he's interested in getting to know you and trying to find out if you're interested too? Seriously, my friends and I would really like to know. Antony Healey - antony.healey@gmail.com Have any comments about this article? Have your say by emailing letters@sydneyunleashed.com
Looking at some reports recently, there are some 20,000 more single women in Sydney than men. Unfortunately, the reports didn't go on to say how old these women are, how "single" they actually are, whether they already have children or what postcode they're living in. And quite frankly, those are details a guy could use! But no, we're teased with a statistic that says we're outnumbered, but you go guess where they're hiding. Myself, I prefer to meet a girl by way of introduction. It's always helpful if a friend, or even a remote acquaintance, introduces you to someone new. It makes continuing a conversation so much easier. I hate "cold calling", which is what I term the act of just fronting up to a table of girls and trying to talk to them. It's highly uncomfortable, extremely embarrassing, and as far as I'm concerned, it's rude. And, I'm having great difficulty in getting over the 'rude' part of it. I could deal with the pain and embarrassment, but I dislike rudeness. In the 80's, men were told they had to be bold. If you wanted that girl, go get her! I imagine quite a few guys got drinks thrown in their faces, their faces slapped or simply kneed in the nuts. Women didn't want that. In the 90's, men were told they needed to be more sensitive, needing to listen and be more in touch with their feelings. Now that men are taking a bit better care of themselves, actually getting their hair cut and trimming their fingernails, trying to listen and understand a woman's position, we find that they don't want that either. They want a guy who'll take charge, make the decisions, won't pay them any attention, ignore their opinions and treat them as sex toys. They want the "bloke" back. Make up your minds, for crying out loud! I'm convinced that this confusion has always been there, but that the media is beating it up into more of a frenzy these days. It doesn't seem possible that this level of chaos could exist and the world not go stark raving mad. As strange as it sounds, the old saying of "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" is still the way. Women are even admitting it these days. They ask 'Where are all the nice guys?' but still date one loser after another who treats them like dirt. Now, I'm not some wishy-washy under the thumb sort of guy. I have my opinions and I stick to them (ask me about why I think more women should wear high heels, or how much I hate thongs and sandals sometime) but I'm also not a complete tosser who can just treat someone like crap, talking to 30 women in a night hoping one might want to go home with me. Ok, that seems to work for some guys, but it's just not me. And it seems it's not the way a lot of guys are. So, a little help please ladies… Where are all these single women - where are they hiding? How do we reconcile the differences between what women say they want and what they actually go after in a man? Do women find it rude of a man to approach them genuinely wanting to start a conversation? How should a guy approach you, letting you know he's interested in getting to know you and trying to find out if you're interested too? Seriously, my friends and I would really like to know.
Antony Healey - antony.healey@gmail.com
Have any comments about this article? Have your say by emailing letters@sydneyunleashed.com
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