Yet another appendage sprouting out of the anomaly known as Maynard
James Keenan of Tool and A Perfect Circle
"Enigmatic is a misnomer. Most likely a byproduct of my absence
in the press. An assumption arrived at due to the lack of available
information, accurate or otherwise. I don't do that many interviews.
Generally because of my private life and my classified activities,
but mostly because I'm not very good at them. The conversation in
my head never matches the conversation that ends up in print."
So says the conductor and driving force behind Puscifer, the current
project of vocalist Maynard James Keenan.
"I guess maybe it's time to come clean on a few things. As you
most likely suspected, I'm an undercover C.I.A. operative. Hence the
tendency towards the secretive behavior. I've been an agent since
I was 11 years old. I was recruited at a county fair at the age of
8. Multiple blue ribbons in the disciplines of knots, archery, and
animal husbandry may have been the carrot that lured in the agency,
but I can't be certain. Suffice it to say that not unlike Elvis, I
answered when my nation called. Willingly. Of course, all that I've
said and all I'm about to disclose is highly classified and not to
be repeated. Pinky promise?"
Secrets and the voices in Maynard's head are clearly the fuel that
move this new project. Those and perhaps a slightly loose grip on
what most of us would consider reality. "Hey! I heard that!"
mumbles one of his many voices.
For the moment, let's ignore the voices and focus on the so-called
facts. Puscifer is Maynard's multifaceted, multimedia, multi-artist,
multi-personality project. It involves film, music, digital video,
garments, feminine hygiene products, coffee, pet supplies, websites,
blogs, artist collaborations, a few office supplies, and a grip on
the idea that chaos is good and that change is inevitable. Just a
few of the artists who have passed through these confusing gates:
Mat Mitchell, Tim Alexander, Lei Li, Jonny Polonsky, Cherie Roberts,
Ainjel Emme, Brandon Bryant, Danny Lohner, Josh Eustis, Gil and Rani
Sharone, Lustmord, Laura Milligan, Meats Meier, Evil Joe Barresi,
Trey Gunn, Milla Jovovich, Lisa Germano, Tim Cadiente, Ford Englerth,
Jeffrey Brooks, Micah, Alan Moulder, Eddie McClintock, Joe Nagy, Nipples
Creelman, Devo. The list goes on.
"Actually, none of these people really exist. Each is a deep
cover alias. That none of them bare any resemblance whatsoever to
the real me is a testament to my hard work, keen focus, and attention
to detail. A few I've been developing for decades." Truth or
Tragedy? The verdict is still out.
Many of these collaborative efforts have just been unleashed - including
the full collection of songs titled 'V is for Vagina'. So why this
new project? Dare we ask? "I'm on a mission. I've been assigned
to be the guardian of a highly classified, highly effective Sonic
Weapon of Mass Disruption. This sonic technology when 'unleashed,'
if you will, causes parts of the anatomy to vibrate uncontrollably.
Not unlike when someone yawns, everyone in the surrounding area will
be affected. If executed properly, the subjects will be temporarily
distracted from their duties. Their bodies will appear to be abducted
by the Soul Train, as if J-Lo were auditioning for the 'Thriller'
video. Awe inspiring. Don't speak a word of it."
'V is For Vagina' is out now.
