LATEST NEWS…SHARON VS DANNII ROUND TWO: Outspoken former X-Factor judge Sharon Osbourne has launched another scathing attack on her X-Factor co-star, the untalented Minogue sister (no need to elaborate). Mrs Osbourne previously said Dannii was only chosen as a judge because the show's creator Simon Cowell wanted to sleep with her. This time Sharon called Danni "f*cking useless." "She wasn't so much a dim bulb as a bulb in a power cut," Shaz added." You have to hand it to Sharon - she calls a spade a spade….NAOMI STRIKES AGAIN: Our favourite supermodel with anger management issues, Naomi Campbell, allegedly punched out a taxi driver in New York late last month. The driver claims the out-of-control model flew into a rage and began hitting him from the back seat leaving him with a black eye. He alleged that Naomi jumped from the vehicle and ran from the scene after he stopped the car to contact police. Taxi drivers all over New York now have a fear much greater than late-night knife muggings - God help them…WINO BACK WITH EX: Amy Winehouse has reunited with her druggie ex Blake Fielder-Civil. The pair were spotted pashing outside a London restaurant. The couple decided to reconcile their train-wreck relationship after Blake left her for another woman last year. Despite Blake making K-Fed look like the catch of the century, Wino probably hasn't been sober since she met him anyway. Well someone needs to fill Whitney and Bobby's shoes….TIGER'S GOT BALLS: Golf balls that is. Tiger Woods has resumed training and sources close to the family say the disgraced golfer will return to golf at the Tavistock Cup tournament on March 22. Meanwhile there has been no sign of the player's wronged wife Elin, although reports say she visited the man-whore - err sorry, her husband - in sex rehab. He probably should return to work since buying his wife's silence obviously comes at a very high price…LIFE IMITATES ART FOR TV STAR: 'Two and a Half Men' star John Cryer, who plays Charlie's super annoying brother Allen, isn't just hated by his onscreen ex wife. The whiny actor allegedly had a hit taken out on him by his actual ex wife (the aptly named) Sarah Trigger. A US court alleged that Trigger wanted to have the actor bumped off because he no longer agreed pay his $10 000-a-month child support for their two kids. Meanwhile his onscreen brother Charlie Sheen is in rehab after threatening his wife with a pocket knife. On the plus-side, there's enough drama in their lives to inspire a whole new series of 'Men'…UNDERBELLY - ANOTHER CONTROVERSY: It just wouldn't be Underbelly without controversy. The new series 'Underbelly: The Golden Years' about the Kings Cross underworld is again embroiled in controversy as a former Kings Cross police officer depicted in the show sues for defamation. The former officer, Wendy Gaye Hatfield, has demanded that the Supreme Court allow her to preview episodes before they go to air to ensure she has not been defamed. Hatfield believes that the plot suggests she had a sexual relationship with a notorious Kings Cross nightclub owner and was promoted in the NSW police force by providing sexual favours. While it all sounds juicy, Hatfield will try to stop parts of the show that paint her in a bad light from going to air. She probably doesn't realise she can cash in on the controversy just like Roberta Williams….MR HEIDI MONTAG IN HOSPITAL: Mrs plastic fantastic Heidi Montag's less famous other half, Spencer Pratt, was recently hospitalised needing stitches in his tongue. The injury to his tongue occurred in a bizarre incident where he implicated his new pet dog after he bit his own tongue leaving him unable to talk for several days. Unable to accept responsibility for being a clumsy fool, he blamed his poor (more intelligent) Pomeranian for his stupidity. Given the mindless rubbish that comes out of The Hills star's mouth, here's hoping he bites his tongue more often….JOHN HELPS JESS GET GUYS: John Mayer's recent comments about Jessica Simpson's talents as a lover are helping the blonde singer pull men. In an Oprah interview early this month, Jess said her phone had been ringing off the hook since John described her as "sexual napalm" to US Playboy. Meanwhile, no females will touch John Mayer with a ten foot pole after he described his junk as a 'white supremacist' and basically bagged all of his former girlfriends in the highest selling men's magazine in the world. Perhaps John also needs to have a freak accident involving Spencer Pratt's dog?...CHERYL COLE DUMPS HUSBAND: Another day, another sports star cheats on his wife. This time it's British soccer player Ashley Cole who has cheated on UK glamour girl and former Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Cole. The 26-year-old glamour found Shane Warne-style text messages on her husband's phone and after countless other infidelities on his part, finally decided to leave his ass. Cheryl is busy promoting her solo album '3 Words' which has been given rave reviews, so she probably isn't wasting much time crying over it. For the last time girls, do not date rockers, sports men or actors - unless you are totally against monogamy….
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SHERLOCK HOLMES (REVIEW)

Gone is the little hunting cap, tweed coat and the long arched pipe. The super sleuth has been reborn.

An athletic Holmes, more inclined to use his fists as his powers of deductive reasoning than an oversized magnifying glass, is portrayed with vigour by Robert Downey Jr. He looks to be having a huge amount of fun, complete with stuffy English accent in a role he has described himself as an intellectual superhero. Words are turned into a weapon of reasoning, but if that doesn't work, a physical challenge usually unfolds for this gifted individual.

Rough around the edges, but sharp as a tack, Sherlock Holmes' lethal skills as a martial arts fighter comes in handy in what turns out to be a souped up Victorian era crime story. Holmes and his investigative partner, Dr. Watson, share a close, often hilarious friendship. Jude Law smirks as much as his cohort whilst delivering equal measures of comic one-liners. This creates less of a personality and more of an uninspired sidekick at times to the more convincing Downey Jr.

Together they trudge around dark allies and dry docks looking for a mysterious murderer. However, the crafty criminals that they are chasing seem to be immune to capture. One particular suspect, Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong) is assumed dead, but after signs of an apparent resurrection, the dubious lads begin taking things a little more seriously. The local authorities are constantly confused - luckily Holmes seems to be one step ahead. Right on cue during proceedings, a romantic interest in the form of Rachel McAdams comes forth. Catching the attentions of Sherlock, he finds out beneath the corset lies an uncertain individual who may or may not be using manipulation to her advantage.

Directed by Guy Ritchie, the Brit formerly married to Madonna, this is a good looking and well assembled movie that has his distinct stamp all the way through it. However, it is nowhere in the same league as his more modern crime capers, 'Rock'n'Rolla, or, 'Snatch'. The slow motion bare knuckle fighting is pure Ritchie, as are various quips and observations written into the script on their surroundings as the pair of sleuths work their way in and out of trouble around old England town.

Some of the locations look strangely familiar straight out of a Harry Potter movie, but the recreation of the murky era amongst the cobblestone streets is production design at its best. Not without its flaws, the drama is mixed with high energy action sequences and an occasional digital effect is inserted to enhance the excitement factor. A rousing musical score by legendary composer Hans Zimmer completes this rip roaring ride that seems to be destined for a series of films.

Holmes purists may want to stay at home, while fans of the character that author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle created will wonder where the pipe smoking gentleman has gone. For everyone else, sit back and enjoy the ride.

Shane A. Bassett

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