LATEST NEWS…SHARON VS DANNII ROUND TWO: Outspoken former X-Factor judge Sharon Osbourne has launched another scathing attack on her X-Factor co-star, the untalented Minogue sister (no need to elaborate). Mrs Osbourne previously said Dannii was only chosen as a judge because the show's creator Simon Cowell wanted to sleep with her. This time Sharon called Danni "f*cking useless." "She wasn't so much a dim bulb as a bulb in a power cut," Shaz added." You have to hand it to Sharon - she calls a spade a spade….NAOMI STRIKES AGAIN: Our favourite supermodel with anger management issues, Naomi Campbell, allegedly punched out a taxi driver in New York late last month. The driver claims the out-of-control model flew into a rage and began hitting him from the back seat leaving him with a black eye. He alleged that Naomi jumped from the vehicle and ran from the scene after he stopped the car to contact police. Taxi drivers all over New York now have a fear much greater than late-night knife muggings - God help them…WINO BACK WITH EX: Amy Winehouse has reunited with her druggie ex Blake Fielder-Civil. The pair were spotted pashing outside a London restaurant. The couple decided to reconcile their train-wreck relationship after Blake left her for another woman last year. Despite Blake making K-Fed look like the catch of the century, Wino probably hasn't been sober since she met him anyway. Well someone needs to fill Whitney and Bobby's shoes….TIGER'S GOT BALLS: Golf balls that is. Tiger Woods has resumed training and sources close to the family say the disgraced golfer will return to golf at the Tavistock Cup tournament on March 22. Meanwhile there has been no sign of the player's wronged wife Elin, although reports say she visited the man-whore - err sorry, her husband - in sex rehab. He probably should return to work since buying his wife's silence obviously comes at a very high price…LIFE IMITATES ART FOR TV STAR: 'Two and a Half Men' star John Cryer, who plays Charlie's super annoying brother Allen, isn't just hated by his onscreen ex wife. The whiny actor allegedly had a hit taken out on him by his actual ex wife (the aptly named) Sarah Trigger. A US court alleged that Trigger wanted to have the actor bumped off because he no longer agreed pay his $10 000-a-month child support for their two kids. Meanwhile his onscreen brother Charlie Sheen is in rehab after threatening his wife with a pocket knife. On the plus-side, there's enough drama in their lives to inspire a whole new series of 'Men'…UNDERBELLY - ANOTHER CONTROVERSY: It just wouldn't be Underbelly without controversy. The new series 'Underbelly: The Golden Years' about the Kings Cross underworld is again embroiled in controversy as a former Kings Cross police officer depicted in the show sues for defamation. The former officer, Wendy Gaye Hatfield, has demanded that the Supreme Court allow her to preview episodes before they go to air to ensure she has not been defamed. Hatfield believes that the plot suggests she had a sexual relationship with a notorious Kings Cross nightclub owner and was promoted in the NSW police force by providing sexual favours. While it all sounds juicy, Hatfield will try to stop parts of the show that paint her in a bad light from going to air. She probably doesn't realise she can cash in on the controversy just like Roberta Williams….MR HEIDI MONTAG IN HOSPITAL: Mrs plastic fantastic Heidi Montag's less famous other half, Spencer Pratt, was recently hospitalised needing stitches in his tongue. The injury to his tongue occurred in a bizarre incident where he implicated his new pet dog after he bit his own tongue leaving him unable to talk for several days. Unable to accept responsibility for being a clumsy fool, he blamed his poor (more intelligent) Pomeranian for his stupidity. Given the mindless rubbish that comes out of The Hills star's mouth, here's hoping he bites his tongue more often….JOHN HELPS JESS GET GUYS: John Mayer's recent comments about Jessica Simpson's talents as a lover are helping the blonde singer pull men. In an Oprah interview early this month, Jess said her phone had been ringing off the hook since John described her as "sexual napalm" to US Playboy. Meanwhile, no females will touch John Mayer with a ten foot pole after he described his junk as a 'white supremacist' and basically bagged all of his former girlfriends in the highest selling men's magazine in the world. Perhaps John also needs to have a freak accident involving Spencer Pratt's dog?...CHERYL COLE DUMPS HUSBAND: Another day, another sports star cheats on his wife. This time it's British soccer player Ashley Cole who has cheated on UK glamour girl and former Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Cole. The 26-year-old glamour found Shane Warne-style text messages on her husband's phone and after countless other infidelities on his part, finally decided to leave his ass. Cheryl is busy promoting her solo album '3 Words' which has been given rave reviews, so she probably isn't wasting much time crying over it. For the last time girls, do not date rockers, sports men or actors - unless you are totally against monogamy….
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THE WIFE'S TALE
Lori Lansens

"A persuasive, dynamic storyteller" - THE TORONTO STAR

Every word in 'The Wife's Tale' is very carefully chosen making it a delight to read even though it's very, very sad. For a short period in her life, Mary Gooch was thin. However when she lost her child and hastily married, she became addicted to food. She lives in a small dull rural home in Leaford and every set back in her life (like the death of her cat "Mr Barkley" and the loss of her father) makes her visit the Kenmore refrigerator more and more often. Mary is however a very generous and kind woman who believes in miracles, so when her husband does not come home for their wedding anniversary, she goes looking for him and the journey becomes her transformation, physically, mentally and spiritually. Every woman will relate to this story, as almost all of us eat when things go wrong to cheer ourselves up. Even though Lori is thin and gorgeous to look at, she is able to write expertly in the voice of a lonely and obese woman....

Lori Lansens was a successful screenwriter before she burst onto the literary scene in 2002 with her first novel 'Rush Home Road'. Translated into eight languages and published in eleven countries, 'Rush Home Road' received rave reviews around the world. Her follow-up novel, 'The Girls', was an international success as well. Rights were sold in 13 territories and it was featured as a book-club pick by Richard & Judy in the UK, selling 300,000 copies. Born and raised in Chatham, Ontario, Lori Lansens now makes her home in Los Angeles with her husband and two children. Check out lorilansens.com

Lori Lansens says,

"Shortly after 'The Girls' was launched, my husband and I made the difficult decision to leave Canada, the city we'd lived in for twenty-five years, our family in south western Ontario, all of our friends, for Milan's career opportunities in the television industry in L.A. Even before we'd made the decision to move I'd heard Mary Gooch calling from the sidelines - a woman in her forties who undergoes a dramatic transformation.

We rented a modest house in a suburb in the west San Fernando Valley where the people were friendly, but strangers. I kept getting lost, and losing things. We arrived in the summer with the temperatures in the triple digits and spent days at the ocean, a short distance from our home. I drove the curving roads of the Santa Monica Mountains thinking of the thousands of conversations I've had with women about loneliness, self acceptance, marriage, husbands, body image, food, denial, betrayal and more recently, encroaching middle-age. I thought about what it means to be a stranger, and how one can be transformed by circumstance, and as I found my own tribe of friends and settled into the new rhythm of a different life, the story of Mary Gooch unfolded.

Milan and I live with our children in a rural canyon in the Santa Monica Mountains with coyotes and bobcats and rattlesnakes. From my office above the garage, I can see a horse ranch across the road and beyond that, the tawny hills and clear blue sky. I'm currently at work on my next book"

'The Wife's Tale' is available now (RRP $29.99).

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