It's a good thing that language forms the basis of a society.
It allows individuals in that society to communicate with each other,
express ideas and solve mutual problems. There are volumes upon volumes
of literary works for the world to marvel at in hundreds of languages.
Plato, Mark Twain, Emily Bronte, Jules Verne, Mary Shelley,
Shakespeare, Bacon, Austen, Doyle - the list goes on and on. But there
is subversion afoot, a murder most foul, of language, of structure and
form.
You see them, thumbs tapping away furiously, their beady
little eyes lit only from the glow of their mobile phone screens.
"how r u?"
"im gud"
"wot ya doin?"
"juz hangin owt"
There is no grammar. There's usually no punctuation and
I'm quite convinced that there is no thought behind what is being said.
Just keep typing gibberish because if they stop they would actually
have to form a conscious thought and that might cause their brain to
hurt.
What surprises me the most is that on these same mobile
phones, it is actually harder to write these messages in this weird
bastardisation of the language than it is to simply get it right. And,
it still costs the same to send the message whether it's 6 or 160 characters
long. Do you miss the secret bonus round if you actually spell a word
correctly?
I ran across this bit of text on a chat board a few days
ago: "well id just like 2 let all u guys know dat im not here just
for fun casual stuff...im not dat type of chik...im just on here 2 have
a chat n stuff...get 2 know wat guys r really like on dese chat things...but
if we meet den dats a bonus n if nefin happens from dere den dat an
even bigger bonus..."
The very first thing I did was reach for a foreign language
dictionary. I was sure it was written in 'Jive talk'. After finding
an equivalent Rosetta Stone and much patience, I was able to translate
what this person was trying to communicate.
It took a while, but apparently she's a "nice girl"
who is just experimenting with this "chat board" and might
be interested in meeting a "nice guy" who apparently doesn't
read or write English and he shouldn't be too fussed that she is as
intellegent as two short, but very thick planks.
This is happening on both sides of the fence. Men and
women are writing like this and I fear that many are also talking like
this too. I find it fascinating that these are the same people who want
'someone that I can hold a conversation with.'
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh out loud just then.
A little piece of advice, if I may. It doesn't make you
sound cool. Or is that c00l? Kewl maybe? It doesn't make you sound hip
and fashionable. It makes you sound like some unschooled dimwit who
couldn't string a coherent sentence together to save themselves.
It certainly is not an attractive quality in men or women,
whether in your personal, business or social life. Personally, I'd rather
just use the language as I was taught it.
Antony Healey (antony.healey@gmail.com)
