A no-holds-bar view on cheating in Sin City.
Did you get sprung as a cheater by hackers of the now notorious Ashley Madison website? Or did you look at the names then sigh a breath of relief because your significant other wasn’t on there?
Well don’t get too glum or too smug. Whilst Sydney with its balmy weather and CBD practically crawling with Jordan Belfort finance types looking for their next hooker fix almost topped the list, perhaps this is not the worst news in the world. Perhaps it’s our weather or just a brashness about our population. We are the city that loves to cheat.
If you’re from Sydney, you’ll probably notice the men can be so arrogant they’ll have a crack at you even when you’re out with your partner and attempt to cut his grass, particularly in upscale Hemmes-owned suit hangouts like Establishment and Ivy.
We’re all show ponies with narcissistic traits who need our egos stroked, or so you might be led to believe judging by the patronage of said Hemmes-owned venues. So the cheating should not be such a surprise. Where men know their Missoni from their Max Azria and spritz on fragrances by Jo Malone with hints of jasmine and neroli and many scrub up better than the women, what did we expect?
“All men cheat, babe whether it’s a kiss, a bit of flirting or (more)”, says Orlando* (*name changed to protect a man prepared to sell out other blokes), a longtime married advertising executive from Perth with sparkling blue eyes plenty of women probably get so lost in they never quite find themselves afterwards. “Just don’t fall in love with a married man”, is his advice.
The reality is, if you really thought you were safe from flirting’s ugly cousin cheating, you are sadly mistaken.
Ever since Heidi Fleiss, the US’s most notorious call girl burnt her little (or not so much) black book with the names and numbers of her Hollywood A-list clientele – brothels, call girl services and strippers have had an unspoken rule of protecting their paying customers.
If he isn’t on Ashley Madison, he’s probably at a brothel (ahem ‘client meeting’) and you can’t even check his credit card bill for $1000 on ‘catering’ because his magnanimous client Chang from Beijing put it on his Amex to show your significant other a good time. Dear, oh dear!
Then there’s the hubby with two phones (one for work and one for personal use) who uses his second phone for – er – client meetings with Rebecca from his office with harbour views. So if you really thought it was funny that Mabel from high school sprung her hubby Alisdair on Ashley Madison, don’t get too comfortable as you know as well as anyone that your partner Jeremy has two phones. Oh and cute Rebecca from his office laughs a little too hard at your husband’s jokes.
The only honest people in society are swingers. We as a society need to lighten up about cheating. Cheating happens when you get over the honeymoon stage of your relationship and cross-stitching becomes more exciting than what’s going on in the bedroom. Some men just don’t get enough action and a bottle of KY and porn get old. Unsurprisingly, not all men are into being locked up in chastity and will look elsewhere if they’re not getting it at home.
Please wipe that smug look off your face because chances are your significant other has done the dirty on you. This is a chance for the women of the world to step up, buy a push up bra and even get a script for female Viagra if you find yourself watching more sex on David Attenborough documentaries about reptiles than what you have at home.
Don’t take hubby for granted or he’ll be on his second phone to Rebecca or spending a lot more time going out with his mate Chang the Chinese investor again. Men like shiny things, men have fragile egos and the men of Sydney smell better than we do.
Ladies, suggest you take this as a wake up call. Book a hotel room with a spa, buy some non-granny panties and even pop a prescription pill. No need to make the divorce lawyers rich. C’mon, very soon you will both be laughing about it over a Moet overlooking the harbour and saying, “Ashley, who?”
Camilla MSydney Unleashed is one of Australia’s premier entertainment publications exploring the latest in lifestyle trends. From Sydney’s finest restaurants, cafes and bars to the hottest in gadgets, products, and home entertainment, Sydney Unleashed is your one-stop lifestyle platform.